倉頡 -- 五月天

一顆葡萄有多甜美 用盡了所有的 圖騰和語言 描寫
想一個人有多想念 那又是文字失效瞬間

結一個紀念的繩結 記錄你離去後 萬語和千言 瓦解
升起了慌張的狼煙 我遺落在最孤獨史前 的荒野


多遙遠 多糾結 多想念 多無法描寫 疼痛 和瘋癲 你都看不見
想穿越 想飛天 想變成 造字的倉頡 寫出 能讓你快回來 的詩篇


一隻蝴蝶有多鮮豔 能不能飛越過 猜忌和冷漠 世界
給你的簡訊和留言 說不清萬分之一追悔

當星宿都沉沒山岳 只盼你會抬頭 看我寄託的 彎月
當一個文明即將熄滅 有什麼證明你我存在 的歲月


多遙遠 多糾結 多想念 多無法描寫 疼痛 和瘋癲 你都看不見
想穿越 想飛天 想變成 造字的倉頡 創造 能讓你想起我 的字眼


多遙遠 多糾結 多想念 多無法描寫 疼痛 和瘋癲 你都看不見
想穿越 想飛天 想變成 造字的倉頡 寫出 能讓你快回來 的詩

需要你 需要你 需要你 想逆轉時間 回到 最開始 有你的世界
想穿越 想飛天 想變成 造字的倉頡 寫出 讓宇宙能重來 的詩篇
天雨粟 鬼夜哭 思念漫太古

Ubuntu 12.04 countdown

Common, Simple, Beautiful by Jennifer Chung

Don't you agree
When they all say
"Home is where the heart is."
But do you see
With every step that you take,
You get further away
From where the heart is.

It's so easy to be blinded
& caught up in the clouds where everything's in a haze
Causing you to forget about the days,
Of the common, simple, beautiful ways.

I remember all the times that I had spent with my friends.
Taking BART to San Francisco just for 350 cents.
Talking, laughing, joking - didn't quite k now what was to come.
Years of memories, irreplaceable fun.

I remember telling mom that I'd make her proud one day.
She would smile and knew exactly all the right things to say.
Man, I miss her & can't wait till I get back to the bay.
Back to the common, simple, beautiful ways.

Isn't it nice,
To simply know,
There's somewhere you can go back to.
So it's a big sacrifice
Everytime that you decide
You can't even if you want to.

It's so easy to be blinded
& caught up in the clouds where everything's in a haze
Causing you to forget about the days,
Of the common, simple, beautiful ways.

I remember all the times that I had spent with my friends.
Taking BART to San Francisco just for 350 cents.
Talking, laughing, joking - didn't quite k now what was to come.
Years of memories, irreplaceable fun.

I remember telling mom that I'd make her proud one day.
She would smile and knew exactly all the right things to say.
Man, I miss her & can't wait till I get back to the bay.
Back to the common, simple, beautiful ways.

好久没有在这里好好地整理我的思绪了，其实在这一年里，很多是我都把他们埋在心里，我也知道这样很不健康，但是也没有办法啊，谁叫我找不到我心里的那条虫？ 有些事情我都不懂要怎样发泄出来，所以说我是很容易心理不平衡的。

这个学期对我来说真的有一点难熬，工程分析对我来说是真的很大的挑战，我的教授是那种非常。。。怎么说呢？好听就叫要我们自己学习，不好听就叫懒惰，老实说，这个学期只剩下两个星期，但是他什么都没有认真的教过我们，而且这门科目是真的蛮难的，上一个月考，少过一半的人及格。这个学期的功课也比较花时间，尤其是工程的功课，而且刚好所有的功课都是接二连三地来，前几个星期还真的忙到喘不过气来。
说到上个星期，见了我的导师，他建议我放掉一些科目，注重在几个有把握的，但是就要延后毕业，说真的，我好想这样做，但是会花费很多，延迟一年毕业，就要多用父母一年的钱，我真的不想这样浪费了。

说说梦想吧，我想以后可以为环保的工作出一份力，以后就想在这一领域发展，但是我不懂经济上会是怎样的情况，我不懂等我毕业后，这领域在马来西亚会发展到什么程度，我也不懂这领域在马来西亚有没有需求。我想做有关绿色科技的行业，但是我却不懂这行业里有那些公司。如果条件允许的话，我想去瑞士读硕士，读一个关于环境与科技的课程，但是我的成绩却不想别人那么好。。。其实经常有人问我学校的成绩如何，老实说，真的很烂，大概是2.1左右吧，比起其他人，我的成绩真的很差。但是很多人更我说，成绩只是一项指标，衡量一个人的考试能力是多好，说真的，我不是那种会背书的人，我考试的能力也很差，经常紧张得头脑一边空白，也难怪我的成绩会那么差。

有时候，我会在想，神对我们每个人都有一定的计划，我常在想，祂对我的计划到底是什么啊？到底读工程学是不是祂要我走的路？常听别人的见证，说神怎么样祝福他们，但是我却不懂祂对我的祝福是什么，当然，除了基本的需求祂都会赐给我们，但是我却感受不到祂在我身上还有些怎样的祝福，可能是我迟钝还是什么吧。。。有一段时期，我还对神失去了信心呢。
我常常在想，如果可以和神交谈就好了。。。

好像再多看看这个世界，多去别的地方走走。。。

Perfect Sense

just watched a movie, "Perfect Sense", the world is having a disease, that people will slowly lost their senses, it's the most beautiful love movie i ever watched.

first, people will overwhelmed by grief, then lost their nose, Michele is a chef, where his restaurant is opposite of Susan's house, an epidemiologist, they started to date.

second, people will feel the terror, and a moment of hunger, then their lost their taste, Michele and Susan fell in love. people still do what they used to do with the best they can.

third, people become rage, then lost their hearing, where Michele lost control and Susan left him. the world become chaos, and Michele was forced to stay at home.

lastly, before the night come, it was beautiful day, every people woke up with joy and happiness, they share the joy, the warmth, the understanding, and love, Susan went back to find Michele, when they approaching each other, just a few steps away, they lost their eye sight, (and here is my favourite quote)

It's dark now, but they feel each other's breath, and they know all they need to know. They kiss and they feel each other's tear on their cheeks. And if there had anybody left to see them, then they would look like normal lovers caressing each other's faces, bodies closed together, eyes closed, oblivious to the world around them. Because that is how life goes on. Like that.

the way the director present the plot is so unique, and beautiful that i can really feel what they felt. the name of the title is perfectly match with the movie, even losing the senses one by one, people still found hope, and life goes on, and the perfect sense is not what we can sense with our organ, but our heart.

Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?

Would you feel the same

If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong and carry on

'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way through night and day

'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees

Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure

And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you feel the same

If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong and carry on

Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

i starting to doubt my choice about my future, i am so lost about the path in future, never have a chance to take a glance of it, i guess no one ever have this opportunity. i just don't know what can i do, don't know what will i be.

i don't know engineering is the right course for me or not, i have so many vision in it, maybe they're just imaginary, never been true. i don't really understand engineering, i'm not clear whether i have the ability to graduate from university, the expectations are pressing me too hard, pressing on my wound. i am not good enough, perhaps not even qualify in this course. this is the toughest semester i ever face, these stresses are suffocating me, i just want to escape, and my faith is shaking since last year, i really don't know how much more challenges i can take.

i just want to escape, everything i did is not pleasing, even myself. i don't know what i really want, what should i really do, i just don't want being turned into working machine, yet i can't preform well in academics, i shall not dream too big, the future i want does not fit my current achievements, i'm just one of the loser that didn't do well in any aspect.

i did badly in all aspects in my life, i didn't honour God, i can't fit the social group around me, i didn't perform well in academics, i can't even manage my personal life well. some time i just wish i can have someone to talk to.